He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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