I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
