Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
