Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
