I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
