i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As shirtless as possible
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
