just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
