part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
