I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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