did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
