Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
