he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Shame - the story of my life.
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