At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
