I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
