I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
