a search helicopter?!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
