I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
