Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
