maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
