just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have fence marks all over my body
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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