after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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