i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
