Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
