so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
