I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think people are normalizing furries
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize