what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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