Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
