Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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