It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
