im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
