its not stalking. its research.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
