Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Randomize
