we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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