I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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