Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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