is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
