my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
