I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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