just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
