i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
