This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
