We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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