I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
