i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
