I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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