I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
