I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
