Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
