i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
