hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When are your genitals available?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize