Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
