Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
