with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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