Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
