Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
