Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Boobs speak an international language.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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