I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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