Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i now understand why vodka
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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