And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Randomize
