i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
