Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
