I wish life had little blips of pornography
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just invented taco cereal.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
