Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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