I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
