Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
