Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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