there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
